Getting Caught up on How

Nicholas Urbaniak • February 17, 2025

I often get so caught up in the how: how to accomplish something, how to reach my goals, how to get what I want. This obsession has sometimes led me down paths that weren’t right for me. For example, in college, I chose to major in engineering because I believed it was the best way to make good money straight out of school with only a four-year degree. My ultimate goal was to be financially stable, and engineering seemed like a reliable way to achieve that.


I’d heard about people landing solid jobs after graduating with a mechanical engineering degree. It was considered a stable field; you got paid what you were worth, and you could afford some of life’s pleasures—maybe a trip to Europe, a nice home, supporting your kids through college, and comfortably setting yourself up for retirement. The end result sounded great. But the journey to get there was full of confusion. I rarely understood what was going on in class, my test scores weren’t great, and the concepts didn’t click for me. I realized, despite believing I was “mathy,” my true desire to learn lay elsewhere.


It took almost four years before I finally switched to a business major, and that opened my eyes. Once I made the change, I felt more engaged and motivated. I ended up graduating with degrees in finance and marketing after a couple of extra years.


From this experience, I learned that if you actually like something, you have a much better chance of being good at it. Your natural interests bring an innate drive to learn—far more than you’d ever muster doing something that doesn’t come naturally or that you don’t enjoy.


In my pursuit of money, I got hung up on how to get there, rather than staying open to different paths and focusing on why I wanted it. The why is more complex. I wanted money and a stable financial future for a wife and kids someday, because I wanted them to feel secure. I had a secure childhood and wanted to pass that feeling on to my own family. I also admired my parents’ example: they gave me a good life, and I wanted to do the same for the people I loved.


The funny thing is, my dad actually followed what he wanted to do from the start. He loved to draw, so he began college in art school. When a teacher graded one of his projects a C (even though my dad and many others felt it was excellent), he became disillusioned. He felt art was subjective and couldn’t be fairly graded. Eventually, he decided to pursue another dream—being a doctor who works with kids. He loved kids and wasn’t motivated purely by money. My parents often talk about the high interest rates on his loans back then, rates that would seem insane today. But he still went for it.


I’m not sure why it took me so long to notice that my dad’s path was a perfect example: he chased his dream, and the how worked itself out over time. Now, I want my life to be the same. I want to write, and I want to earn enough money so I don’t have to worry about bills, to maybe travel to Europe, and to have a comfortable retirement. I want my kids and grandkids to have the same security I had growing up, so they can explore their own passions and find what truly motivates them.


So I offer you, the reader, a chance to reflect on your own life. Is what you’re doing now what you really want to be doing? Does it naturally motivate you, keep you engaged, and excite you enough that you might do it in your free time? If not, that’s okay—nobody is constantly doing something they love every second of the day. Still, I challenge you to dive into something that genuinely interests you, something that lets you express yourself and impact others in a meaningful way. You never know: by starting with your why, the how might just fall into place.


Why do I want to write about these topics in my blog? Because it relaxes me. It helps me envision a future where I can earn a living this way, and it gives me hope that maybe someone out there is reading these posts and finding a bit of guidance.


Maybe they’re struggling to find their place, and my stories could help. But if I’m honest, I’m doing it first and foremost for myself—as an outlet, a way to process my feelings and find resolution. And that’s enough for me right now. Hopefully, it leads me to how I’ll reach my bigger goals. For now, just writing is enough.

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By Nicholas Urbaniak • October 4, 2026
There’s a strange thing that happens when you want more out of life. You start convincing yourself that where you are now isn’t enough. The job isn’t enough. The house isn’t enough. The money isn’t enough. You’re not far enough along. You haven’t accomplished enough yet. And maybe some of that is true. Maybe there really is another level for you. Maybe you should make more money. Maybe you should take the risk, build the thing, get healthier, move somewhere new, become better at what you do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more. I think wanting more is part of being alive. But I’ve started to realize that there’s a big difference between wanting more and needing more in order to finally be okay . That difference changes everything. Because if your happiness is always attached to whatever comes next, you never actually arrive. You just move the finish line. You tell yourself: Once I make this much money, I’ll relax. Then you make it. And there’s another number. Once I get this job, I’ll feel successful. Then you get it. And suddenly you’re comparing yourself to the person above you. Once the business works… Once we buy the house… Once I lose the weight… Once people recognize what I’m doing… There’s always another “once.” And without realizing it, you can spend years living five feet in front of yourself. Maybe the Goal Isn’t to Stop Wanting More I don’t think the answer is to kill your ambition. I don’t want to pretend I’ve reached some enlightened state where I no longer care about accomplishing anything. I do. I want to build things. I want to succeed. I want my family to have more opportunities. I want to become better. I want to see what I’m capable of. But I don’t think those things have to come from being unhappy with my life right now. That’s the part I think we get wrong. We’ve been taught that dissatisfaction creates progress. Sometimes it does. But dissatisfaction can also become an addiction. Eventually, you stop climbing because you’re excited about where you could go. You climb because standing still makes you feel like you’re failing. Those are two very different ways to live. One says: “This isn’t good enough.” The other says: “This is good. And I wonder what else is possible.” I’d rather build from the second one. Comfort Isn’t Complacency Being comfortable where you’re at doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean you stop working hard. It doesn’t mean accepting circumstances you have the ability to change. It just means you stop treating your current life like a waiting room. You actually live in it. You look around and recognize that some of the things surrounding you right now were once things you desperately wanted. That’s easy to forget. There are probably things in your life today that a younger version of you would be amazed by. Things you prayed for. Things you worked for. Things you once thought would make everything different. And then they became normal. That’s what humans do. We adapt. The extraordinary becomes ordinary surprisingly fast. Which means if we don’t learn how to appreciate what we have now, there’s no reason to believe we’ll suddenly become good at appreciating things when we have more. More money won’t fix that. More recognition won’t fix that. More success won’t fix that. We’ll just have more things to overlook. Wanting From Abundance Instead of Lack I think there are two different places ambition can come from. One is lack. I need more because what I have proves I’m not enough. The other is abundance. I’m grateful for what I have, and I’m curious about what I can create from here. The actions might look exactly the same from the outside. Both people might work late. Both might start businesses. Both might chase promotions. Both might set ridiculous goals. But internally, they’re living completely different lives. One is constantly running away from something. The other is moving toward something. And I think you can feel the difference. When everything is driven by lack, even winning feels temporary. You get what you wanted and immediately ask: What’s next? When you’re grounded first, success becomes something you get to experience rather than something you need to survive. You can actually enjoy it. You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Enjoy Today This might be the hardest part. Sometimes we almost feel guilty being content. Like if we become too comfortable, we’ll lose our edge. If I stop being hard on myself, maybe I’ll stop progressing. If I appreciate where I am, maybe I’ll stay here forever. But I’m not sure peace makes us weaker. I think it might make us better. Because now the energy that used to go toward constantly proving yourself can go toward actually creating something. You’re not wasting half of your attention worrying about whether you’re behind. You can just work. You can be present with people. You can take risks because your entire identity isn’t riding on whether they succeed. You can fail without feeling like the failure says something permanent about you. And strangely enough, that might make growth easier. You stop gripping everything so tightly. The Life You’re Chasing Is Happening Right Now That sentence has been sitting with me. Because the future version of your life that you’re working so hard for will eventually become another ordinary Tuesday. You’ll wake up. Make coffee. Look at your phone. Think about what needs to get done. Whatever you achieve, eventually you’re still just going to be you, living another day. So maybe the skill isn’t figuring out how to create a life so incredible that every day feels extraordinary. Maybe the skill is learning to see what is already extraordinary inside an ordinary day. The people sitting next to you. Your health. A quiet morning. A conversation with someone you love. Having something worth working toward. Even having the ability to wonder what comes next. None of that means you shouldn't chase more. Chase it. Build it. Go see how far you can take things. Just don’t accidentally sacrifice your entire present to a future that keeps moving away from you. There’s a sentence I keep coming back to: I’m happy here. And I’d still like to see where I can go next. I think both things can be true. Maybe they’re supposed to be. Where Purpose Blossoms, Honey Follows A bee doesn’t sit on a flower angry that it hasn’t reached the next one yet. It takes what is there. It gathers the nectar. And then it moves. Flower to flower. Moment to moment. There’s movement, but there’s also presence. Maybe we could learn something from that. You don’t have to hate this chapter to be excited about the next one. You don’t have to convince yourself that your life is lacking in order to improve it. You can appreciate what’s growing now while still planting what comes next. You can be grateful and ambitious. Content and curious. Comfortable and still moving. Maybe getting more doesn’t begin with desperately reaching for something outside of you. Maybe it starts by finally realizing: What I have right now is enough for me to be okay. And from there?  Let’s see what else can grow.
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