Feeding the Right Wolf
Nicholas Urbaniak • June 5, 2025
How Consistency and Courage Team Up to Drive Lasting Self‑Transformation
Transforming yourself is tough work. Shedding an old addiction, building a new habit, or mastering a skill demands two forces above all: consistency and courage. Consistency supplies momentum—without it, your mind never rewires, and the old pattern keeps its grip. Imagine two wolves: whichever you feed more wins. Consistency decides the meal plan.
Courage carries you through the messy middle, the days when progress feels pointless and willpower runs dry. It’s the spark that gets you to show up tired, try again after setbacks, and honor the promise you made to your future self. Together, consistency and courage turn one‑off efforts into a lasting new normal.
So when change starts to pinch, remember your why. Comfort will try to lure you back; let purpose pull you forward. True reinvention rarely feels easy, but if you’re willing to give everything you have—and then dig a little deeper—you’ll discover just how far you can push your limits and how completely you can rewrite your life.
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Sometimes shitty things happen. You find out you have a chronic illness, you lose a job, or someone you love passes away. These circumstances come for us all in some way or another throughout our lives. No one is immune to human suffering and disappointment, and everyone has, or will go through a traumatic experience which takes their breath away in the worst of ways. I personally do not have a recipe for success to get through these times or have some magic words I can say to others when they are going through it. There really isn’t anything you can do to help someone who is struggling after receiving terrible news. Maybe you can offer condolences, help with any errands they had on their list, or just sit with them, but in the end, the grief and intense emotion is sometimes so unbearable that nothing except their own processing will allow them to feel any sort of relief. So, for anyone out there who is having a hard time, I’d like to say that I’m sorry. I wish it were different for you, and I hope that you can find peace in whatever is going on and know that hopefully there is a meaning behind it all. You are strong, but it’s still ok to cry. You do what you need to do to get through this. Remember tomorrow isn’t promised so try to enjoy today. Laugh with your spouse, call your mom, and don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. Bask in the joys of life when they happen and embrace each other when something goes wrong. Step into life with all it has to offer, from the exhilaration of falling in love to the grief of loss, it is why we are here. “9 months was too long to wait, but now we must wait a lifetime”
Balance isn’t just about staying upright—it’s about how you move through life. Think about riding a unicycle. At first, you have to focus on every little adjustment to keep from falling, but after a while, it just happens . You’re not thinking about every shift—you just move. The goal is simple: don’t fall. And to do that, you keep adjusting, naturally and automatically, just like breathing. That kind of balance is what keeps you moving forward in life. When you feel balanced, you don’t get thrown off so easily. Stress, setbacks, challenges—none of them hit as hard because you’re always making small, automatic corrections . You don’t freeze up or feel stuck. Instead of overthinking, you just act , keeping yourself in motion toward whatever’s next. Balance also changes how you show up in the world. When you feel steady, you’re more present with others. You’re not as reactive, not as easily pulled into fear or frustration. You listen more, you see more, and you handle things with a clearer mind. It makes you more yourself , not weighed down by stress or uncertainty. And honestly? Balance is what lets you grow . Picture a tightrope walker—every step could throw them off, but they don’t freeze or overanalyze. They move . And because they trust their ability to adjust, they push their limits. First, they walk the rope. Then, they raise it higher. Then, maybe they juggle while doing it. The point is, balance isn’t about standing still—it’s about learning to keep moving no matter where life takes you. So if you’re looking for stability, don’t aim for some perfect, unshakable place where nothing ever challenges you. That’s not how it works. Balance isn’t about never wobbling—it’s about knowing that when you do, you’ll find your center again. And the sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll reach that next version of yourself.